Hollywood sucks.....

The following is a list of the contents of the $40,000+ gift bags that the Presenters and Performers received from Sundays Oscars Show:

A Krups kitchen set including a toaster, electric kettle and a year's supply of coffee and tea ($700)

A two-night stay at The Carlyle hotel in New York ($2,300)

A red leather case full of Shu Uemura cosmetics, including mink eyelashes ($600)

A DuWop cosmetic kit filled with a selection of products and a gift certificate for a session with a Cloutier makeup artist. ($740)

A year's supply of Vonage broadband phone service ($500)

A Sprint PCS Phone from Samsung

A three-night stay for two at Palmetto Bluff Resort in South Carolina ($3,600) (updated w/correct link 2/27)

A two-night stay for two at Bernardus Lodge in Carmel Valley, CA($2,500)

A three-night stay for two at St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort & Spa in Dana Point, CA (includes personal "surf butler") ($5,900)

A dinner party at Morton's, The Steakhouse ($1,500)

Kay Unger cashmere pajama bottoms ($500) (only the bottoms??)

An assortment of Manni Oils' extra virgin olive oil ($540)

One day of services at Cornelia Day Resort in Manhattan ($3,500)

A three-night stay at San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, Calif. ($3,000)

An 18-inch baroque Tahitian pearl necklace from PearlParadise.com ($3,200)

A Dyson DC11 canister vacuum (y'know, the one that "doesn't suck")

A T3 Tourmaline Hairdryer "100% crushed tourmaline gemstones infused into patented T3 components give it more ionic power than any other dryer" ($200)

Two nights in a Bellagio suite and Two therapies at Spa & Salon Bellagio and Dinner for two at Sensi Restaurant and Dessert at Jean-Phillipe Patisserie and Two tickets to "O" and a $1,000 shopping spree for Jurlique products (read the press release for even more detail)

"A Catherine Original" jewelry by Cathy Jordan: sterling silver choker/bracelet/earring sets made of pearls and Bali beads ($500) (local news story)

Mr. Handyman gift certificate redeemable for one full day of Mr. Handyman service, presented in a confetti-filled paint can with an upscale black, red and gold design featuring the Mr. Handyman logo. The lid's label reads, "Your Handyman is Inside."

From Portland's Moonstruck Chocolate Co, 15 handcrafted truffles in a hand made Thai Silk Truffle Box and a certificate for a year's worth of chocolate.

$10,000 package for a three-night stay at the Opus Hotel in Vancouver, three nights at the Four Seasons Resort in Whistler, lift passes, helicopter transfers, limo transfers, numerous meals, Pilates session, spa treatments, and two OXIA oxygen personal canisters (the second time Opus has made the cut with their astonishing roundup of Canadian hospitality!)


That's just for the Presenters and Performers.

Each 2005 best actress nominee will be gifted with an exclusively designed signature pink, jeweled clutch filled with every woman's ultimate red carpet necessities-flirty pink lipstick, a best-selling fragrance and sexy lingerie embellished with a diamond and sapphire lucky clover from The Heidi Klum Collection created by internationally renowned jeweler, Mouawad. The "Oscar Survival Kit" is hand-crafted by Mouawad with over 250 single cut round brilliant diamonds and sapphires, totaling approximately 10 carats with a retail value of over $15,000.

The top 25 acting and directing nominees will receive an exclusive Special Edition Black RAZR V3 in a keepsake and personalized Jonathan Adler box. This phone is not available to the public therefore you can only imagine the price tag. Not to mention each lacquer Jonathan Adler box is personalized with the nominees initials making it even more limited and valuable.

It's really disgusting how these movie industry members receive such lavish and expensive gifts when they are the only ones that can afford them in the first place. Why are they getting them for free? It's all about the 'plug'. Companies want their products in the hands of A-list celebrities so that the common man will want to buy their products. Well, common sense would dictate that if the product is really good enough for a celebrity to have, then why does the company have to give it to them? If the product is that good wouldn't the celeb have paid for it? Just something to think about. I'm just glad to know that the only money of mine that goes to that damned Hollywood is the money I spend to take my kids to the picture show to see animated films. If it wasn't for the kids, Hollywood wouldn't get a dime of my money. Hell, who am I kidding? They'd get it somehow. They always do...greedy bastards.

People suck...

I've been sick for the past 4 days and I'm a little irritable. When I'm irritable I'm usually less tolerable of peoples suckiness. Today is a prime example. I think anyone that has to deal with me today will not walk away with a positive image of me. Who cares!

That having been said, I'd like to start the day off with a list of 'People who suck'.

#1. People who don't buckle their children in to their car seats. Don't you realize that you're child is moving as fast as your vehicle is and if you had to slam on the brakes the car would stop but your child would not? Besides, it's the law. Buckle your kids up you morons.

#2. People who are 'leftists'. By this I mean those of you who drive slowly in the far left lane, i.e. The FAST LANE. Didn't you take drivers ed or did you get your license out of a Cracker Jack box? And how come when you see someone coming up on your tail at a high rate of speed...you don't move over and may even slow down? You're a schmuck.

#3. People who don't want you to come in to their lanes ahead of them. Have you ever put your turn signal on to change lanes and the person that's in that lane speeds up to keep you from getting in front of him or her? They suck too. I think these people just don't want to risk being slowed down by someone coming in to their lanes. To change lanes and then slow down when you don't need to, like for an exit or something, is to impede the forward progression of another individual. And that's not right. Those of you who do that...you suck too!

#4. People that stop right in the middle of the flow of people through a mall. If you want to stop and look in a window get out of our way before you do it. Or better yet...just stay home. You're an inconsiderate prick and shouldn't be going out in public anyhow.

#5. People that stand at the entrance to a non-smoking establishment and SMOKE! Have some common sense people. What's the point of having a non-smoking policy if you're going to be nailed by the stench before you even walk in the joint. Go around the corner and smoke. Or go around back and hide behind the dumpster with the other degenerates. I don't care what you do but I'm tired of smelling your putrid exhalations when I'm trying to enter a restaurant or other place of social enjoyment...jerk!

#6. Drive-thru attendants that get all huffy when you ask them to correct your order. Listen up meathead! YOU are the one that obviously couldn't understand English when I said I want a Route 44 Diet Coke with cherry and vanilla...EASY on the ice. Easy on the ice does not mean fill the cup to the top with ice and then put a squirt of soda and additives in it. If I wanted a cup of ice I'd go lick a polar bears ass. So go back to school, get an education and get a job where you won't be so abused on a regular basis. If you don't like what you're doing, change things...duh!

#7. People that don't wave back when I extend a humane gesture of friendliness. I waved to you punk. Are you blind? Is it that hard to just throw a hand up in a wave so that you don't royally piss me off? Be a little more friendly and people will be more friendly to you...generally. If they're not then put them on your list of people who suck.

#8. People who aren't thankful for their job and just piss and moan about it every time you see them. Here's a tip. Get another job. If you're not qualified to get a different job...become qualified. Otherwise shut your pie hole and take it like a man...silently. It could always be worse. You could be working as a drive-thru attendant. Or as a petroleum inspector. Which brings me to my #9.

#9. Companies that care more about profits than employees. I used to be a petroleum inspector. I was on call 24 hours a day for 6 days and then 3 days off. During those 6 days I might work 30 to 40 hours straight without sleep. In the rain, cold, heat...it didn't matter. Any kind of weather, any time of day, any kind of product be it lethal chemicals or really dirty, sticky black oils. And they expected you to be able to drive home without getting yourself killed and fall asleep as soon as you walked in the door...because chances are they'd be calling you out in another 8 hours. Now some of you might be thinking that'd be a lucrative job with all of the overtime. Think again. Here in Texas we get chinese overtime. Basically it works like this. If you make $14 an hour that would be $560 in a 40 hour week. Let's say you work 100 hours that week. You take $560 and divide it by the number of hours worked, 100. You get $5.60. Cut that in half and that's your hourly rate for all overtime. $2.80 per hour for all hours worked over 40. So for 60 hours overtime you'd get $168. Still think your job sucks?

#10. People that don't consider their fellow Earth inhabitants when they go about their daily lives. These are the inconsiderate ones. They don't say excuse me. They don't say they're sorry. They don't get out of your way when it's obvious you're in a hurry. They don't get out of your way for any other reason. They let their kids scream and holler in grocery stores, malls and restaurants. They congregate in front of your office and have loud, extended conversations while you're trying to conduct business on the phone. They just don't think about what they're doing. It's not that hard people. Look around you. Think about what effect you're having on other peoples lives. It's called consideration and the world is in serious need of it these days.

Proper grammar...

I was just scrolling through all of the blogs trying to find the one where the woman and her husband had made the lists containing "100 things about them". I wanted to show my wife since I couldn't explain it very well at lunch. Oh well, I'll find it eventually.

While going through the blogs I was reminded of just how annoyed I get by people who butcher the English language. I just don't get the way some people talk these days. And what's worse is the way some of them write and type. Letting the words come out of your mouth in a lazy manner resulting in slang is one thing. But actually going through the trouble of typing words incorrectly on purpose? I don't get it. I guess I'm just old-fashioned in the sense that I still greet my friends with a 'Hey man!' or a 'Hey, what's new?' instead of one of the latest trendy greetings like 'Yo dawg, wazzz up?'. In all honesty I do use these terms on occasion...when I'm wanting to act stupid with my wife or friends! I guess I'm just too white bred to get in to all of the lingo going around these days. Hell, I can't even shake hands with a man the way some people do. They do all of this crazy handwork. I just want a straight forward solid handshake like in the old days when a handshake meant something.

I also don't understand why people on the other end of the spectrum insist on using multi-syllabic words when a much simpler word would do just as well. I like to read books. I often find myself having to use a dictionary to understand some of the words the authors use. Are they just trying to make themselves look smart? Do they have one of those '365 Words a Year' calendars that gives them a new word to use every day? Why can't we just use simple English words? The same is apparent in newspapers. It seems as though some people just HAVE to use that thesaurus sitting on their desk. Give me a break would you? Speak to me in words that an everyday guy like me can understand.

And while we're at it, when's all of this hip-hop culture bullshit going to stop? I'm about sick of the spinning rims, the do-rags, the 'bling bling', the corn rows and all of the other crap that fans of that genre engage in. Enough is enough already. Pull your pants up, tie your shoes, tuck your shirt in and get a job. Stop saying 'pimp' this and 'gangsta' that. You're not shit in the grand scheme of things so eat an entire humble pie and lead a normal, productive life like the rest of us are trying to do. Quit promoting the drug trade, gun crimes, prostitution, gang warfare and general degeneration of your once proud race. Don't speak in 'Ebonics' or 'gansta slang'. You're not 'dope'. You're A dope. You're making fools of yourselves to everyone except your co-offenders. Most hip hoppers and that whole lifestyle are quickly bringing back in to existence strong racism towards the black people. Why can't they all be like Nelly, Sean Combs and Dr. Dre? These guys have class, intelligence and success. Sure they dip back in to the negative aspects of it from time to time but they know that there is a time and place for it. They don't show up at awards shows or other serious occasions dressed like common thugs.

That's enough for now. I'm climbing off of my honky soap box.

Sunnnndayyyyy

OK, it's Sunday and I'm not really sure why I'm writing on this. I'm sure my wife is the only one that'll read it so I'll have to be sure to not talk about hot chicks or porn!

I'm bored off my ass at work. Very little to do other than sit around and wait for the phone to ring so I can answer some dipshits questions that he could find the answers to in the same way I would. Lazy.

I think I should give thanks today. I have a good life and I didn't get it on my own.

I'll list the people I'm thankful in order of appearance, not importance.

To my Dad, for showing me how NOT to be. Damn he failed me as a father. I have one positive memory of him. I was about 7 or 8 and I was laying in bed asleep. He woke me up to see if I wanted to ride in to Rosenberg with him to go grocery shopping at Krogers. He promised to buy me a Star Wars toy if I did. I went and he got it for me. He died when I was 33 so that makes what? 25 or 26 years of piss poor parenting? He took me away from my mother when I was 6 or 7. He then refused to let me visit with my paternal grandparents, followed by my aunt and uncle on his side...the only other family I had in the state of Texas. Mom died when I was 10 and he wouldn't let me go to the funeral. He said it was because he wanted me to remember her when she was alive. Bullshit. He was too poor to buy me a plane ticket. Then his mom died when I was 15. He let my sister go to the funeral but not me. I had work to do. My maternal grandmother died when I was 24. He hated her. My brother and I drove from Houston to Orange County, CA to attend the funeral. He didn't like it at all. Tough shit. He told me I should quit high school because all I'd ever be was an appliance repairman. So I graduated High School and went on to college. I worked for Sherwin Williams during college. When I graduated and was going to quit Sherwin Williams to go in to the oil business he said I was dumb for leaving such a good company. Nevermind that I'd double my income. He didn't know shit. I could go on and on about all the crap I experienced with him but is it worth rehashing? I don't think so. The hate is there and probably always will be.

I'm also thankful for my sister Diana. Of course we argued when we were growing up. What siblings don't? But through it all we were together. When our other siblings came and went, we were together. Good or bad, didn't matter. It's formed a bond between us that's pretty damn strong. And she's given me my nephew Mitch. That punk-ass. He's a good kid and I wish I could give him the world. But he has to get it for himself. And I'm sure he'll get the parts of it that he needs all on his own.

I'm thankful for Mitch AND Phillip. They're good boys and seem to be heading towards becoming good men. I just hope nothing gets in their paths to lead them astray. They'd regret it.

Speaking of nephews and nieces...I'm thankful for all of my nephews and nieces. Unfortunately I'm especially fond of the ones that I get to see on a regular basis. I'm sure that if I spent as much time with Brendas kids as I have with Mitch, Phillip and Jessie then I'd have a great relationship with them as well. But that's not the case, unfortunately.

The next person I'm thankful for is my brother Mike. Without him I'd have probably turned out to be just like my old man. Bless you Mickey Mouse for saving me from that fate. You taught me how to be a man and an independent thinker. You carried me until I grew legs strong enough to walk on and now I'll walk by your side forever. If your legs get weak, I'll help you walk. If they give out, I'll carry you. You deserve nothing less and I'll give you more if I can. Even if you're a pain in the ass sometimes...FOCKER!

I'm thankful for my best-friends...Jeff Svatek, James Fullen, Clint Hudgeons and Billy Joe Strawn. You've each had a profound effect on my life for the better. Some have been more of a force in my life than others but a force is a force regardless of size. You guys keep me in touch with where I came from, who I am inside and what I need to be. A man could ask for no better of a friend and I am fortunate to have four of you.

I'm thankful for a certain blonde girlfriend that I had in college. She drove me to move to Houston where I moved in with my brother Tom and discovered the Internet. And that's where I met my wife. I firmly believe that had I not moved to Houston I would not have found Allison before some other poor bastard found her first. So, I have to be thankful for that influence.

I'm thankful for all of the women I spent time with between September 1996 and April 1997. Each one of you taught me what I did and did not want in a partner. You narrowed my field of vision.

I'm supremely thankful for my wife Allison. I can not even begin to imagine the life I would have if she was not in it. It's incomprehensible. I've learned so much from her. I've had so many laughs with her. I've found true love with her. And that love has changed who I am. It has changed me profoundly. In fear of using a cliche, she has made me a better man. Sometimes I wish I could erase all of the years I lived before she came in to my life. Because they just weren't lived by a man at his full potential. But, every one of those days in all of those years was a factor in who I am now and I can not allow myself to regret any of them. It's quite possible that if I had done one solitary thing differently in those times I might not be where I am today. So I can't regret the past. But I can look forward to the future and I hope I have the pleasure of living every single day with her until my last day is through.

I'm thankful for my step-son Mikey. He's humbled me. He's forced me to acquire a great deal of patience. He's made me smile countless times just with his smile and his giggles. His happiness is infectious. Of course, so is his anger but that's where the patience comes in. He's a good kid and I'm happy that he's in my life. He has autism but that's ok. He's a happy boy 90% of the time. That other 10% is tough but I sincerely believe that I'd have it much tougher with a boy who had no disabilities. We all know they can be terrors. So I'll put up with the pain he inflicts on me sometimes in exchange for the chance to give him piggie back rides, blow raspberries on his tummy and watch him go 'shoes to swing'. That boy. Sometimes you just wanna eat him up....other times ya just wanna eat him!

I'm also thankful for my step-daughter Kelly. Technically I should have mentioned her before Mikey because I saw her first that morning on the steps in her momma's South Florida townhome. But she's the youngest so she goes second. She's somethin' that little Miss Kelly Marie. She's grown up a lot since I first saw her at 2 1/2 years old. Lil' turd. She was so friggin cute with that square head and chubby cheeks and legs. And now she's growing in to a beautiful young lady. It's scary. I'll be beating the boys off her in the next couple of years. But that's ok. I'm keepin this one safe from harm. I love to do things with her because she loves doing things with me. That makes me feel wanted and loved and that's more valuable than gold.

She's not second in my heart though. She's tied with that boyyyyy Mikey. It's hard to believe that a man can love two children who aren't his flesh and blood as much as I love these two but I do. And if you don't like it you can go suck on a turnip!

I'm thankful for my dogs that make me smile everyday. You three were brought in to our lives by some strange force and we're thankful for it everyday, even when you do bad things.

I'm thankful for my job at Valero. It's afforded me the life I've always wanted for my family. I doubt my life would be as great if I still worked for the evil empire Inspectorate.

I'm thankful for Dr. Porter-Tucci. She keeps me healthy, physically and mentally. She's a great physician and I hope she never moves.

I'm thankful for my physical therapists, Greta and Cindy. They're helping me to fix the body that I've abused for so many years. Hopefully, with their assistance, I'll reach a point to where I can go for days on end without feeling pain in at least one part of my body. That would be sooooo nice. I wouldn't have to worry about picking up my kids for fear that it'd throw my back, shoulder or hip in to another cycle of pain. I'd also not have to worry about wrestling my wife on to the bed! :)

That's enough for now. My wrists are getting sore.

P.S. Thanks for Honda and Triumph Motorcycles!

Creation or what...

I read in the Chronicle the other day an editorial about Intelligent Design and Creationism. It was basically about the three most popular theories on how humans came to be in existance.

One theory is Creationism. This theory says that God created the world and all living things, including man. We all pretty much know how this one goes.

Another theory is Darwinism and the theory of evolution. According to Charles Darwin, man crawled from the primordial ooze as an aquatic lifeform and evolved through various forms and eventually developed in to the erect walking homosapiens you see milling about today.

Believers in Creationism feel this is blasphemy. So some of them, after vainly attempting to refute evolution I believe, came up with the theory of Intelligent Design.

Intelligent Design is, to put it simply, the belief that mankind and nature did evolve over the millenia but a supreme intelligence had a hand in it. This is backed up by the scientific conclusion that all things found in nature, man included, have a uniform order about them. Thus, they could not have been created randomly by the chaotic development suggested by Evolutionism.

In otherwords, how can so much symetry and order be found in nature if nature simply found its own way and developed on its own over so many tumultuous and chaotically violent geological periods?

I say 'Who gives a shit?'. Why in the hell does it matter? I'll tell you why. Because of one simple word....FAITH.

Those who have it want to KNOW that there is a God. They want concrete proof that God created all living things.

Well, that makes me wonder. If you have faith....why do you need to know without a doubt? Why would you care what other people believe? Maybe YOU don't need concrete proof. Maybe you want to be able to prove it to those who don't have faith so that you can recruit them? Maybe you're worried about their soul.

I believe that's the very nature of those with faith...be it Christian, Muslim, Hindu or whatever. You want to do good things and show others the light. Some people might look at it as you shoving your beliefs down their throats. Some might see it as a genuine concern for their well being and appreciate it. I think you should gauge your audience before you go promoting your beliefs. Because some people don't care what you think. Some people have a faith of their own and don't need you trying to change their minds. People are going to believe what they believe. If they are strong willed people then they are going to believe what they believe regardless of what you tell them. If they are not strong willed and are easily molded to believe what you tell them then chances are they're easily swayed to believe other things as well. And they might believe what you're saying this week and believe what somebody else is saying next week.

My whole point is this. What good does it do to try and figure out where we came from? We need to focus on where we're going. Sure, some scientists say that we need to study our past to try and predict our future. We need to find out what wiped out the dinosaurs so that we can try and save ourselves. OK, archaeology is cool and exciting but let's face it. We'll never know beyond a doubt what happened to the dinosaurs. We can only speculate based on evidence.

The evidence points toward a celestial body striking Earth. Do we really think we can stop something like that from happening? They're already developing systems to defend Earth against an asteroid/meteorite strike. Can you imagine how much that's going to cost? The number coming up in my head is staggering. But I'm not going to get in to my feelings on that whole thing. I'll save that for another day in order to avoid going off on a tangent.

I'll wrap this up by saying...Why can't we just leave people alone to believe what they want and stop all of these religious wars, both verbal and physically violent? Personally, I could care less what somebody else thinks. If it doesn't affect my family or I in a physically detrimental or psychological way, I don't care. Have at it. Enjoy yourself. And let me do the same. Find something better to give me shit about...like my thick eyebrows or somethin'.